I am the daughter of a king.

Yes, I am a daughter of THE king, but this morning I am talking about the most wonderful man many people knew. My father passed away very suddenly on April 21st, and we are all in shock and at a loss for what to do, really. My daddy was such a great guy, and I just can't believe he's gone. With no history of heart problems and a clean bill of health two weeks prior, my father suffered a massive heart attack while getting up that morning. My brother called me frantic after the ambulance left and said dad had no pulse, get to the hospital. That was at 7:21 in the morning, and the ambulance had already left, but my brother was doing CPR on him until they got there. The ride across town has never taken so long, the roads were all backed up, as was the interstate. I jumped out of the car and ran inside the hospital, leaving the kids for my husband to get out, but to my dismay, I was too late. I asked then at the front for my father, but instead of walking me through triage, he took me right, through a set if doors I had never noticed before. (this is the hospital that we have always used, my dad was born there, my siblings and I were born there, and so were my kids.) the door was opened by a man wearing a suit and a badge that said Chaplain, and my Aunt was standing there, obviously hiding tears. He took me to a tiny room where I saw my brother and mom, both crying, and then the family minister. No one even got the words out to me before I found myself on the ground, screaming and yelling at the pastor that he wasn't supposed to be there, that if he wasn't there it wouldn't be true. My husband later told me that everyone in the waiting room heard me and a few people got freaked out. I don't really care. They eventually took us into the room dads body was in so we could say goodbye, but that just made it hurt more, because I didn't get to say goodbye to him, not really. We have been stating with mom since, I haven't even been back to the house, my husband only goes after work and then comes back. He even brought our dog over.

Back to being a daughter of a king... My dad's favorite quote, ever, was "it's good to be the king." that is actually what we had engraved on his urn, along with a nice crown vector, that my brother, sister and myself all plan on getting tattooed on ourselves in some manner. His has diamonds on it that I think I will change to hearts, and maybe incorporate the saying, "I am the daughter if a king," or steal one from a friend of mine, "tomorrow is not a promise." I know my dad had his priorities straight and there is no doubt in my mind that he spent Easter with Jesus, but he was supposed to spend it with us, to be at my kids' birthday parties this month, to get old and grumpy with mom, not leave us after only 51 years. His funeral was the largest that I have ever attended. There were people who came in from Texas, Colorado and Georgia. People I had never met, from old jobs or even school, both Wolfson Senior High and FSU. His office must have closed, and all three churches we have attended since mom and dad got married. I spoke during the service, and very nearly had a panic attack right there in front of everyone when I saw the huge crowd that was reduced to standing in the aisles and out the back door of the sanctuary. I stared at that paper so hard I swear it should have had a hole in it. I couldn't even look up at it. My godfather, who sang at my wedding, also sang at my fathers funeral. It was beautiful, perfect, even. He has sung at too many funerals, though. This wasn't the first one where someone left us too early.

I will try to work on some more freebies for you all. Please don't be surprised if they are sad, mourny. That is how I feel of late, including a heavy weight on my chest and occasionally pain. I hope this wasn't offending to anyone, but it helped me a bit just getting it all down.